Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Curled up in a tight ball against the cold, my head was a mess.
Nothing seemed to fit and I didn't know how to fix it.
I was so caught up with feeling sorry for myself, that I hadn't realized the car hadn't moved more than two meters for about twenty minutes now.
The haze in my head cleared momentarily and I looked up and outside my window. I couldn't see what was hampering traffic. It had to be big if things were moving this slowly.
Ten minutes later, as the car inched slowly ahead, I saw it. Two police SUVs were parked on the shoulder of the road. Between them was a dark Cherokee that didn't look too badly beat up. I couldn't see why this was causing so much of a hold-up. Then I looked down and my breath caught in my throat. It was a body. Covered in a white sheet.
I looked away, my stomach in knots. I thought of the people that were about to get a call today, perhaps in a few minutes, that was going to change their lives forever.
My life's never been as bad as I make it out to be.
Monday, December 17, 2007
An entire lifetime
Since I saw your stupid face
Since I knew
The sound of your laughter
The smell of your skin
The touch of your fingertips
The ache of deprivation
I think about you often
And I wonder if you're happy
I wonder if you miss me
Truth be told
I don't miss you
I don't ache anymore
I'm happy now
I've healed quite well
From the bloody, mangled mess
My heart was in when you were here
It beats quietly and steadily now
As it was meant to
Life's looking good
And for once
I want you to be happy too
Because I've grown up
In the 365 days
Since I saw your stupid face
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I'm atheist but I love Christmas, Christmas trees and rice lights.
I have serious issues with gold, most jewelry, coloured contact lenses, and butterflies.
I find my mind fascinating. I think that makes me self-absorbed.
I think my mother is disappointed.
I enjoy unmaliciously (is that a word?) shocking people.
I do not believe in anything supernatural, including love at first sight.
I dislike most people but I adore the few that I consider my friends.
I'm pescatarian for ethical reasons. It's flawed, I know. But it's the best I can do. For now.
I'm anal to a fault about grammar, spelling and punctuation.
I can be extremely judgmental on a lot of things. It's hard to change that, but I try.
Money is not very high on my list of priorities. I've been told it should be higher, for my own sake.
I'm lookist and smellist. I'm working very hard on the first bit.
I like boys. No, stop being a pervert. I'm comfortable with boys. Most girls distrust me because of this, but I really don't want to hump your boyfriends. I just don't think that men suck...all the time. For some odd reason, I pamper my male friends a little. I think I get that from my mother. I wonder what that's about.
I'm very intolerant of closed-mindedness and cruelty.
I wish I
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The DJ had just finished setting up. The music wafted out to every corner of the large, grassy lawn.
She must have been around thirteen or fourteen. She stood taller than most of the kids that ran around her. I disliked her immediately.
By virtue of her height and age, she reserved the right to bully the kids around her. She talked loudly and poked fun at everything that moved. I watched as she and her best friend pointed and laughed at a little girl's fluffy dress. The little girl blushed and hid behind a tree. She was going to grow up to be one mean-spirited woman, I figured.
When she lifted her head and looked past me, the mean smirk on her face was so instantly transformed into an expression of such genuine warmth, that I just had to turn around to see what had caused the change.
It was her grandfather. He was hobbling down the grassy path with his walking stick, wanting to join his grandchildren where they played. The breeze lifted the hair off her face as she ran to meet him half way.
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his wrinkled cheek. He kissed her back and they were lost in animated conversation when he suddenly lifted his walking stick and started to dance to Sean Paul's "Temperature". She held his hand and danced with him, swinging her foot back and kicking it out in time with his foot, in the traditional Arabic style.
And then they threw their heads back and laughed, these two children, dancing in the sunlight.
Monday, November 12, 2007
That, is heartwarming.
...when out of the blue, he says something so childishly innocent, that it takes you completely off guard? And out of the blue, you find yourself wanting to reach out and touch his face? But you don't because it's the wrong, place, the wrong time and he's the wrong person?
That, is frightening.
...when you see a girl on the street being hassled by an idiot whose father should've pulled out in time? Imagine if she got tired of ignoring him, reached into her bag, pulled out a .22 caliber gun, turned around, pointed it steadily in his face and he shit his pants in public.
That, would be gratifying.
...when someone you care deeply about is hurt, angry and troubled? And you wish you could make it better by throwing your arms around them and holding them close until whatever it is that's bothering them, goes away? But you don't, because they would rather be left alone?
That, is helplessness.
...when you're at a party, enjoying the music and your drink, and then someone you've never met before in your life, corners you alone and starts whining to you about how her boyfriend is a total dick, about how he's passed out drunk upstairs in one of the bedrooms, about how things haven't been the same with them lately, about how maybe he's having an affair with his hot boss who's a man, about how maybe moving in with him was a big mistake, and on and on and on until you snap and rip her spine out through her throat and beat her over the head with it until she gets a clue?
That, is self-defense.
...when you dream about someone that used to be in your life, and you wake up expecting that dull, familiar ache, but it doesn't come? And all you feel is a smile warm your face as you start your day knowing you're going to be just fine?
That, is healing.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
What you are about to read contains very graphic details about the female anatomy, and the things that are done to it in the name of vanity. If you are squeamish about things like vaginas and pubic hair removal, you're a wuss - but don't say I didn't warn you.
No, we can't just shave. Why? Because
1) You have to do it yourself. And, unless you're a champion contortionist, there are spots that ARE hard to reach. It's easier to have it done for you by someone you're comfortable with. Very, VERY comfortable with.
2) Regrowth is itchy and poky. It's like having a man's stubbly chin in your panties for a week. And although that might work for some girls (and boys), it's really not my thing.
And the chemicals in depilatory creams just burn like a motherfucker. Temporary pain I can handle. A burny, itchy rash that's 10 times worse than a yeast infection and lasts twice as long, I refuse to deal with.
So what do I do? I wax. Correction, I have it waxed off. I'm sure the thought of having your pubic hair ripped from its roots with a ball of cold, sticky goo by another person is completely mind-numbing to most of you, but it's really not that bad.
All you need is a beautician you can trust, balls of steel and no shame whatsoever. Then, you leave your dignity at the door, get naked waist-down and think happy thoughts.
While you're lying there, with your legs spread wide, birthing style, having the fuck waxed out of your nether region, hating life, womanhood, men, personal hygiene, oestrogen, testosterone, puberty, hair, people, ducks, your parents and every man that's ever touched you, thinking that maybe permanent celibacy isn't such a bad thing after all, memorizing every ceiling pattern above you, you will feel pain.
Even though this pain lasts a few seconds after every rip, it is pain beyond anything the human brain can ever comprehend. It is impossible to try and describe the magnitude of this pain and fall miserably short in accuracy. And if your beautician *REALLY* wants to fuck with your head, she'll make you hold yourself open so she can get to the delicate insides. And you don't argue with the person standing over you on a waxing table. No, never.
And just when you think it's over, just when you've managed to drag yourself back from the brink of unconsciousness, just when you lift your head up off the table, look down at yourself and to your boundless joy can see not a single hair left and your wa-wa looking red and hairless like a newborn puppy, she'll say with a gleam in her eye and a low, ominous voice "Turn."
I would like it to be known that even though I cannot sit right for at least 24 hours after I put myself through the above, I wouldn't have it any other way. There's nothing that feels quite as sensual as a silky smooth, hairless foofie and once you get used to the pain, it is actually quite enjoyable.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I usually try not to post stuff from other places on the Internet, but this is information most of us could really, REALLY use. Had I known this stuff a few years ago, my younger days would have been a lot less spent-in-bed-with-a-huge-bottle-of-water-groaning-loudly-for-
(That is too an adjective!)
Disclaimer: The content in this page is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please contact your doctor before using any of these hangover remedies.
Guide Note: The best way to avoid a hangover is never to drink. If you're reading this page, chances are you've decided to give that method a miss. Want to learn how to cure a hangover? Read this page to learn how to survive an evening of drinking with the least hardship.
What causes a hangover?
- To learn how to cure a hangover, you have to know what causes it. So what causes a hangover, besides, of course, drinking too much? There is some debate about the specific causes of that awful morning after, but it seems to break down to several factors.
- Dehydration. Alcohol is a diuretic, which, as the Mayo Clinic explains, means it causes your body to excrete even more moisture than you're putting into it. If you're ever stranded in the Sahara between oases, you may find the experience is similar to a hangover (without the fun of the night before).
- Hypoglycemia. Alcohol makes your liver break down its stored energy and flush it out of your system, the BBC says. That wobbly feeling you get when you're hung over is pretty similar to the one you might get after fasting for a while.
- Congeners are some of the chemicals in alcohol that aren't ethanol. Rule of thumb: the darker the alcohol, the more congeners, and the worse the hangover.
- Acetaldehyde is, according to a study done at UCLA, another cause of hangovers. Its effects include: sweating, nausea and vomiting. Sound familiar? Your body breaks ethyl alcohol (the active ingredient in alcohol) down in two steps: first into acetaldehyde, and then into acetate, which your body expels. That second step takes time, however, and if you're outpacing your body, that nasty acetaldehyde stays in your system.
- Alcohol irritates the gastrointestinal system, notes Dr. Thomas Stuttaford, leading to nausea and intestinal distress.
- Alcohol makes it difficult to get deep, restful sleep, says Dr. Jeffrey Wiese. Some of the effects you feel are fatigue.
Step 1: Before you start drinking
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- Eat something. Alcohol is mostly ingested through the small intestine, the next stop after the stomach. If there's food in your stomach, it will take longer for the alcohol to get to your small intestine, and thus longer for you to get drunk. Also, it'll prevent the hypoglycemia problem noted above.
- Drink water. If you start your night dehydrated, it will only get worse.
- Prickly pear extract may decrease the nasty effects of cogeners, according to a 2004 study. However, it needs to be taken several hours before you start drinking.
- Take 50 milligrams of Vitamin B6, put another 50 milligrams in your pocket, and leave 50 milligrams next to a glass of water to take when you get home. Dr. Jeff Wiese says it is the only thing proven in a double-blind study to help a hangover. However, doses of over 500 milligrams per day can be toxic, so don't take too much!
Step 2: While you're drinking
- Now that you're out, apply these steps to prevent a hangover in the morning.
- Drink one glass of water or a nonalcoholic beverage for each alcoholic beverage you down, recommends Aaron White, PhD. This will prevent dehydration.
- Take that next dose of Vitamin B6 with that water, about three hours after your last dose.
- The Mayo Clinic says that if your urine has a dark color, you're probably dehydrated. If you're not peeing clear, have another glass of water before you knock back more booze.
- Drink only one kind of alcohol, says the Mayo Clinic. Multiple types of alcohol increase your chances of getting a hangover.
- Choose your alcohol wisely to avoid cogeners. The medical journal BMJ lists these drinks in order of least to most hangover-inducing:
- Tequila isn't listed, but since it's dark it's safe to assume it's on the worse end of the scale. Champagne, says the BMJ, is also one of the worst for hangovers. They also add that cheap booze will hurt more in the morning than the high-end stuff.
Step 3: Before bed
- You may want to fall into bed as soon as you get home, but just ten minutes of self-care will help reduce or eliminate the pain that otherwise awaits you in the morning.
- Take that Vitamin B6 you thoughtfully left out for yourself earlier.
- Wash it down with a pint of water.
- Drink a glass of orange juice, says Dr. Rob Hicks. The vitamin C will make your liver process the alcohol faster.
- Eat something light to prevent low blood sugar later.
- Don't take acetaminophen (otherwise known as Tylenol); many studies, summarized in the journal Postgraduate Medicine, show that acetaminophen can damage the liver when combined with alcohol.
- Don't take any other over the counter pain relievers, either. The FDA says if you combine them with three or more drinks, it can lead to stomach bleeding.
Step 4: The morning after
- Go back to bed. Alcohol affects how well you sleep. You'll need more in order to recover.
- Drink water. Yes, even more. Your body needs to rehydrate.
- If your stomach is bothering you, don't drink coffee or other caffeinated beverages. Caffeine irritates the stomach.
- If you are nauseated, drink soft drinks or fruit juice, says WebMD.
- Eat something. Dr. Thomas Stuttaford recommends as much protein and carbohydrate as you can manage, to recover from alcohol-induced hypoglycemia.
- Now's the time for painkillers, if you need them. BMJ strongly recommends a quick-absorbing type, like Alka-Seltzer.
Resources on How to Cure a Hangover
- SoYouWanna.com: SoYouWanna cure a hangover?
- AskMen.com: How To: Cure A Hangover
- BBC News: The ultimate hangover cure? (2005)
- CHOW: How to Cure a Hangover: Tips for the over-indulgent (2006)
- Nzgirl: How to Cure a Hangover (2006)
- FOXNews.com: Hangover 101: How to Deal With the Morning After (2006)
- BBC: h2g2 - Hangover Cures
- Wikipedia: Hangover
- Times Online: The party's over: Advice on treating hangovers (2004)
- National Institutes of Health:Vitamin B6 Fact Sheet
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It's a little program that tells you who, on your MSN Messenger list, has deleted you from theirs.
It also gives you their telephone number and current address, along with the location of the nearest hardware store whence you can buy a meat cleaver and chop them up into tiny little bits for having the balls to take *YOU* off their friends list.
Well, okay. It actually only gives you their MSN IDs, but wouldn't it be cool if ... nevermind.
SHUT UP! I'M FULL OF RAMPAGING HORMONES!
It also gives you a list of people that you've deleted but who still have you on their list (AWWW, the poor, hopeful things).
Sometimes, you're better off just not knowing.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
It's not the 15th of October where I live, yet. But it is in Australia.
And the website said "THIS IS IT!"
So here's my contribution to Blog Action Day.
In trying to establish what kind of post I, personally, would find the most useful, I figured I'd like to know what I could do everyday that'd help.
Here's some stuff that I do, some stuff that I know I will start doing, and some stuff that well, WE SHOULD ALL JUST FREAKING DO.
- Turn off your lights when you're about to leave a room or your house for over an hour. OH, COME ON! IT'S JUST A FLICK OF A GODDAMNED SWITCH.
- If you're female (or male), you probably wear make-up. Nothing wrong with that, right? Right? RIGHT?
That actually depends on what kind of make up you wear. Most major cosmetic companies test their products or the ingredients thereof on animals. Yes, they kill bunnies and little mice and infect dogs and monkeys with all sorts of nasty shit just to make sure that your foundation won't make your skin itch. Pay attention to what you buy. There are plenty of companies that make cruelty-free products that aren't tested on animals. Here's where you can check.
- Every now and then, wear brown pants and a green top and feel like a tree.
Optional: Stand in the middle of a crowded place, stick your hands up in the air and sway slowly from left to right for the Tree-In-The-Wind effect.
- PLASTIC IS EVIL! When all you're buying is a pack of gum and a bottle of water, tell your store guy to keep the plastic bag. Politely refuse polythene bags whenever you can. It's a good thing to do.
- This one is so simple, it's shocking. Don't fucking litter. There're garbage cans everywhere! Just hold on to your soda can or sandwich wrap for 5 minutes until you get to one.
There's so many other things you can do like recycling, shopping smart, and saving energy... but listing them all would take forever. And you'd get cranky. So just do what you can, okay?
Good luck, people.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
It's ironic how perhaps the only thing in the world that could fill me with wonder and awe, was not inside, but growing majestically in the compound of a church that houses a "miraculously" preserved body of a dead saint.
I love trees.
PS: The person standing next to the tree is 6 feet and half an inch tall. I would've gotten the whole tree in the picture, except it wouldn't fit in the frame. Did I mention that I love trees? <3
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Alongwith the smell of wet mud and over the sound of a steady drizzle, I can hear birds outside my window.
I don't have to rush anywhere, my phone is switched off and I have no deadlines to meet.
My grandmother cooked lunch for me and I had a chilled beer with lunch.
It's good to be home.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Someone I know has made me an offer that I would be stupid to refuse. That might mean changing my address. To a different country. Permanently.
Someone I used to know was in my dream a couple of nights ago. But, for the first time, I was not aching when I woke up. That might mean something. Hopefully.
And even though I'm excited about finally moving (forward or backward, I do not know nor care), there is a certain sense of sadness at the idea of leaving behind the life and people that I am accustomed to.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
- Anatole France
Sunday, September 09, 2007
With so many people missing from the regular weekend clique, I figured it would be boring. Oh well, at least The Noisy One was back.
I was miserable Thursday evening. I thought I wasn't going to Wafra. So I ate a Twix.
Okay, long story short, after slacking around, drinking coffee for a while, there was a sudden change of plans on Thursday night and we ended up playing table-tennis till 4:00 am. At that point, they said "Let's stay awake and go to Wafra directly from here."
So that's what we did. I killed time till 7:00 am having the great Religion vs Atheism debate. Too bad it was with a couple of numbnuts. But then I drowned myself in doggies and everything was right with the world again.
I slept through all of Friday. Well, at least 20 hours of it.