Saturday, October 21, 2006


This weekend was ... interesting, to say the least.

I sat triumphantly at a table eating a nicely sauteed calamari and shrimp platter, while everyone else there ate what they later realized was meat from the face of a cow served to them by a waitress whose mole looked like she had a "tick feeding off her nose". BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ahh, the satisfaction of being a vindicated pescatarian.

Too bad my contact lenses started to bug me to the point where I had to throw them away on the way home and was all but blinded for the next 24 hours or so :/

Friday afternoon, I was half way through my second HUGE mug of beer and feeling happily light-headed when I realized that I had to be sober, showered and sexy in the next 15 minutes because I was to accompany Le Garçon while he dropped off his calling card at a few hotels. I barely made it on time, fumbling around the house in obscenely high heels and my uncle's old bifocals that made me look like Harry Potter with boobs. And, and, and ... INSPITE of all the trouble I took, he laughed when he saw me. HE LAUGHED!

Too bad the next time he got out of the car, he tripped, nearly sprained his ankle and was in pain for the rest of the evening.
(Note to Garçon: I'm sorry you were in so much pain. I didn't like watching you limp like that, it was only slightly funny. I'm just pointing out the Karma here.)

I had the best time though, because we laughed so much. On our mission to find a certain form of entertainment, we hobbled around, me half-blind and with my sadistically high heels and him with his sore ankle, both looking like escapees from the nuthouse, being given the runaround by kabayans and unwelcoming hostesses and being sent to the Evangelical Church for redemption. We eventually gave up because he figured that they were "unworthy of our presence".

Best of all though, was we got to spend the day together... which is a very, very rare thing.

On a completely unrelated note, I hope sex is always as much fun as it is now. I never want to get to where it becomes a chore.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Here, here, Richard Dawkins

Forgive my sudden video-happiness, but you've really got to hear Richard Dawkins out. This man is truly fabulous.

Even if you're a devout believer, it's hard to argue with such crisp logic and common sense. I haven't been this excited about anything since Bertrand Russell.

His interview about his new book, "The God Delusion"

The Root of All Evil (takes a while to load, make yourself some green tea with mint)
- Links to other parts of the series are posted on the right side of the video.

The pwnage of Ted Haggard.
(Note to Mr. Dawkins: If you want to put a sharp object in his neck, I'll post bail)

Richard Dawkins, up front on the Banana Boat, please.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Free Hugs

I'm a sucker for this shit. So bite me.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

All apologies.

My apologies

- Firstly, to my legions and legions of loyal readers. I've been lazy and uninspired lately. I'm sure both of you will understand.

- To my boss. For taking Thursday off. I loved every second of it, but I may have gotten in the way of your little post-lunch "meetings" that your wife never seems to know about.

- To you, the first boy I was ever in love with. Maybe marriage isn't such a bad thing, who knows? Good luck, my friend. You're going to need it. I'll be there. Manning the getaway car, just in case.

- To you that had to wake up to find YOUR nutjob girlfriend on YOUR couch with the creep, drunk and passed out from drinking YOUR alcohol. That was cold. Maybe your wife will kiss your boo boo and make it all better. Oh, and you couldn't dance to save your life. Give it up.

- To you, whose clothes don't fit like they used to. Unfortunately, I know what that feels like. We're going swimming again, even if I have to go CATERPILLAR on your fat ass.

- To you, who I have to work with, 6 days a week, 8 or more hours a day. Your breath smells like a dead cat. Somebody is going to stab you in the face someday. I will point and laugh.

But before I get back to cavorting with rich women that want to look like they didn't really eat a whole cow for breakfast...

Word up

- To first time orgasms, to finding out your exes are sorry they're not with you, to showers, to old friends stuck in traffic on the way home from work, to people that know how to make Moonshine, to people that move house and give away their blinds (which I helped pick *scowl*) for free, to roller coasters and Go-Karts, to getting laid in your bedroom with the music playing on cheap computer speakers AND to moments of clarity when everything falls into place and suddenly, things look like they're going to be alright after all.