Wednesday, May 17, 2006


I don't know why people don't like catching colds.

I've decided it's one of the funnest things that could happen to you.

Oh well, to me at least.

I love being sneezy and honky all day.

Clogged nasal passages and dry, flaky burning nostrils are da bom!

Nothing is more alluring and sexy than watery, bloodshot eyes and a voice that sounds like Pee Wee Herman.

It's so fucking cool when your cough keeps you up all night and your face hurts every time you laugh even.

The best of all, is trying to talk in the morning and ending up sounding like a Howler Monkey during mating season.

See, my darling obsessed bich? At least I'm not always cribbing. It's not my style *twinkle*

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Toying with trouble.

I'm going to try something today. A sociology experiment of sorts (Thank you, girl that "removes different voice only")

What I'm going try and do is this:

I am not going to tell a single lie all of today.

Not even a tiny one. Not a white one, not even a necessary one. Not in a box, not for a fox, not with Courtney Cox's socks.

I'm curious to see how 100% brutal honesty goes down.

"Yes, you have put on weight."

"Your new shirt looks like a curtain from an Egyptian brothel."

"No, you will never find someone."

"You are full of shit ... sir."

If I am never heard from again after today, my green anaconda goes to the boy with the runny nose.