For some unfathomable reason, all of last week, I was filled with a perverse need for self-inflicted pain.
And I do not mean the "Ooh-that-stings" kind of pain.
What I'm talking about here, is the "HOLY-MOTHER-OF-GOD-WHAT-THE-FUCK-WAS-I-THINKING-SOMEONE
-PLEASE-SHOOT-ME-IN-THE-HEAD" kind of pain.
I learnt some very valuable lessons too. Among other things:
1. There are no winners of the Ouch game.
2. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, not even death, can make a Brazilian wax less painful.
3. Learn from your mistakes. Leave people's phones alone. Some messages are better left unread.