When I say "out of my mind" I don't just mean "very" bored.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO NO NO... NO!
When I say "out of my mind", I mean "totally maniacal, raving lunatic, fucking crackpot, certifiably demented, criminally insane" bored.
Know what I mean? (If you do, get help... now.)
Okay, so the situation was complicated by unusually (not really unusual) high levels of oestrogen...the first thought I had today was "Burn".
My past fantasies of spontaneous self-combustion notwithstanding, as of today, I have a new found empathy for arsonists, serial or otherwise.
I can understand now, to a certain degree at least, why somebody would want to take a match to something, watch it go up in flames, disintegrate into nothing and just stare at it so long, your eyes burnt, your skin turned hot and your head felt like it was going to burst.
Boredom and Oestrogen don't go together very well.
It all started with the workplace being so cold, my nipples wouldn't stop pointing. Through my bra, vest AND shirt of reasonable thickness. It occured to me then that the only way I was going to warm up was by setting myself on fire. From there, it was just one endless, downward spiral into criminal insanity.
The fact that in reality, I couldn't light a candle without making sure I knew where the nearest extinguisher was, shouldn't matter.
Truth is, boredom and the slow-pacedness of the day allowed for some idle mind-wandering. The direction it took was influenced by raging girlmones but then again, they always quiet down eventually, don't they?
Please don't be scared.
I'm harmless. Really.
I like puppies.